Monday, June 25, 2012

Ruminations about my boy and others

Here is my “boy.” Not a child, but my puppy.

 Giovanni was my companion for the last many years. During my sabbatical he hung out with me every day. That boy and I walked a few hundred miles together over the years. Going on long walks no matter what the weather. He kept me company in my study while I worked during my sabbatical.

He loved the grandbabies and they loved him. He was a gentle giant to them. I do not have a picture of his smile, but it was one of those doggie smiles where he showed his teeth. 
I was always concerned that someone that did not know him would think that he was ferocious when he smiled, but he was always the opposite of ferocious.

He adored going outside and squealed and yelped as only a dog can when they are excited.

We do not really remember how long we had our boy, but believe it was about 13 years. He was a humane society puppy, billed as a “St Bernard mix.” Never saw much of St. Bernard in him except for his ears, but we did not care. He loved having his belly scratched or being scratched behind the ears. He was my boy. Giovanni died on May 26, 2012, Memorial Day. We buried him at our cabin. We buried him in the shade of our woods with his head pointing out toward the lake. He liked the lake and the woods.

I could not bring myself to write about him till now. My head has been full of ruminations about him, but also about so many other things. How hard it is to say good-bye to people or to pets that we love when they pass on. How there will be so many more good-byes in my life now. I am getting older no matter how I feel right now. I have only so much time left and of course I do not know how long that is. I am not a religious person and believe strongly that this is my only life. I know I have been privileged and fortunate. I have found true love. I have been deeply loved. I have deeply loved some human beings. I have had my ups and downs, we all do. I also know that one’s life has a very, very small impact if any impact at all in the scheme of things. Here today and gone tomorrow. I look at those beautiful grandbabies and think about what life will hold for them when I am no longer here. When they are all grown up and on their own.

So many ruminations have swirled through my mind along with many questions since Giovanni passed. What more should I do with this one life that I have? Have I been a good human being? What else should I use my talents, integrity and work ethic for? What do I not see about my life or my interactions with others because I am somewhat blinded by who I am? What could I do better? There are others, but that is enough for now.

Giovanni, you sweet boy, may you rest in peace. Love, Mies